Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
