I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
