so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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