People in love make me want to vomit
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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