8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
