i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
