I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
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