need another drink. this is the easiest way
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Randomize
