I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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