he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
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