i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
