what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
