At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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