where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
