Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
now i know why i became what i already was.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
