I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
