found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
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