I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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