State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
