she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
