Christians are straight up FREAKS
But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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