He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
how does that bad decision feel?
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
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