i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
