Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Best friends brother. Beat that.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
