Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
