She's JV to your varsity
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
