well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
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