oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Randomize
