You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
