I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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