ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
