You don't have asthma, your pregnant
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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