$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Randomize
