We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
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