i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
