He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
