My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
