So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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