I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
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