mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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