His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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