so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
My boob is missing a layer of skin
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
