Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Every concussion has its silver lining
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Randomize
