at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
God, I missed his penis.
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