Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
