Swine flu is the new snow day.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
