Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
