No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
