Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
