I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
