her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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