I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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