omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize
